Unemployed and Jealous

I've been unemployed for almost a year now. I've done my best to enjoy the time that I had off. I was able to finish school (MBA) without the stress of work. I've also taken the opportunity to travel and spend time with friends. I took snowboarding lessons. I helped my mother decorate the house for Christmas, New Years and Easter. I've even had the time to I've worked on projects around the house and helped my unemployed friends with their projects. I've had time to watch my nieces and nephews at various school events. I even had time to train for my first half marathon in NYC this past August (Since then I've run my second). In all of the time that I've been laid off I've been applying for jobs that almost seem nonexistent. It seems like for every 50 job postings that I've applied to I might get one response of a company that wasn't interested in my application. They somehow always found a more qualified candidate. All of the other remaining applications just seem to fade away.

This morning around 7.30am I was in Boston on the "T" (subway/metro). I looked around at all the people that were up at that hour. Most of them were going to either work or to school. I was jealous of the professionals that were dressed in suits or carried a briefcase. I looked at the women in sneakers with their heals in a bag and wished that it could be me. I'm approaching a year of unemployment and my benefits will soon run out. I might have to become desperate and take a job that I don't want just so that I can afford to pay off my credit cards, grad school loans and not loose my car. My debt is manageable and thank God for my unemployment benefits because I'm able to pay my bills. However, I wish I didn't have to live from week to week. I wish I didn't have to worry about my financial future. I wish I had a job. Credit card debt, Grad School and Car loans are the cause of my stress.

I'm looking for a job because I like to work. I need a job because I have bills to pay. I have some debt, both "good debt" and "bad debt", but in my eyes, debt is debt.

I joined a group that I think is working for a good cause. They are recording the current debt and the possible future debt that Latinos in the United States have. They aren't promising loans, rather they are just recording how much debt is out there, without personal information. The project hopes to obtain funding though government programs such as TARP and TALF, which in turn will be able to filter back into the Latino community. More signatures equals more leverage with large lending institutions. I joined this group because like myself, I know that there are many people out there that have debt or will need a loan in the future. La union hace la fuerza. www.ventanabierta.com

-Octavia
Octavia@ventanabierta.com